


Only I Know

by AmberGlory



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 16:27:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6813109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmberGlory/pseuds/AmberGlory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Would you believe if I told you Hiccup was never by himself? In all the time of being the 'worst viking Berk has ever seen', someone stood beside him. Who could never leave his side, no matter what he did.</p><p>A teen with dirty, ragged hair and amber eyes. She is a girl, a spirit, unwillingly forced into Limbo. And she is honestly, and will always be, alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only I Know

        I moved through the entanglement of Vikings, my hands pressing against my sides as I weaved inside the room. They all talked with a sound comparable to a dragon's roar, even their whispers made my ears ring. I sighed as I blocked the sounds out, none noticing me as they continued their fun. Uh, drinking. No matter how long I stayed here, the Viking's hobbies still mystified me.

Oh, my name? It's not relevant, but maybe I'll tell you sometime.

But believe me, if I could change it I would, without a doubt. It just reminds of all the times...well, that's not really important. I slowed by the teen's table, scoffing when I saw even them taking small sips of their honey shots. Tuffnut, my least favorite of the group, was almost as drunk as the adults. His head droopily swayed as he chuckled dryly.

His twin sister, Ruffnut, was close behind. I could see her eyes blurred as she stared around, slamming Astrid on the back as she let out a hardy laugh. I smiled; Astrid at least wasn't crazy like her friends. I chuckled when said warrior slapped her friend's hand away. She still appeared to be sober, at most taken a shot for a dare.

"Keep it up, man!" Tuffnut's annoyingly scratchy voice brought me back, and my smile died when I saw him cheering on Snotlout, by far the worst of the group in terms of how he acted. He was chugging down a gigantic cup of olive mead, getting ditzier by the second. Fishlegs sat further from the rest, dumping his own drink of the floor before turning back to the Book of Dragons.

I couldn't bear watching anymore and twisted on my heels, stalking back along the crowds to the open doors of the Great Hall, which blew chilling winds into the room. Though, everyone was too drunk to notice.

As my feet stepped into the dark night, my chest tightened as I saw the twinkling stars. They danced along the sky so beautifully it made tears well up in my Amber eyes. They seemed so happy, being up their alone.

Unlike me.

 _Loneliness is never fine when you've always got it._ The weird voice told me once again, and I felt the pain of its statement. It was true; being alone never gets you the happiness you think it does.

I jumped as a breath of air escaped beside me, and I swerved to find a small boy with auburn hair and forest green eyes that sparkled in the moonlight. His brown vest seemed soaked with some kind of liquid, which I presumed was one of the drinks.

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third.

Well, Hiccup in everyone's opinion. That's what everyone called him. I believe their exact words were ' _a hideous name wards off gnomes and trolls._ ' But, who would want to ward off them? Trolls, sure, their disgusting and have...problems...but Gnomes? I know a few and they're actually really kind. See what I mean? Vikings judge without any information.

But, this is more serious. "Hey." I tried, even though he didn't respond. It never works. "You okay, Hiccup?" Still no reaction and I huffed, placing my hands along the sides of my hips, even though I wasn't really angry.

"Well then, maybe you just need to find another person who can talk to you!"

My voice dripped with hate, but it melted in grief as I dropped down next to him, holding my hands against my head. It just wasn't fun anymore. Sure, the first couple times it was amazing to do, but now...

I sighed once more. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Hiccup echoed my emotions as he gazed solemnly into the sky, looking as if he wanted just to escape. I managed a light smile through my sadness. He didn't know how much we related to each other.

"How I wish I could talk to you." I whispered, grazing my hand over the jagged stone. I still couldn't figure out how it felt, no matter how hard a slammed my fist down. "Then maybe..." I turned to Hiccup, my gaze turning hopeful.

"We could be friends?"

Silence greeted my impossible request, just as I suspected. But it still slammed into me like a hammer. Hiccup stood up from me as his eyes cast down, sticking there and he started forward. My mind went to panic as my source of final closure strolled away.

"Stay!" I cried, forgetting my problem as I extended for his scrawny arm. To assume out of all the people I could have wanted here, I went after Hiccup, son of the Chief. I face-palmed myself, Hiccup was great!

"Please..." I honestly, and painfully requested, tears now streaking down my pale cheeks as years of unwanted hardships and worsening depression came raining down on me. I sped up, stretching my hand further as it shook, and I felt a pang of hope as it touched for a moment on my friend's arm...

Before phasing straight through, falling back to my side as I trembled.

Another failure. Another ignored, from my own friend on this god forsaken island I'm stuck on. "Why?" I spoke into the unforgiving air, noticing how Hiccup had turned to see if anyone was nearby, like he had heard or felt something. Like everyone reacted when I touched or spoke near them.

**"Why did you give me this curse!?"**

I heaved, my tears streaks remaining where they had fallen as the stayed like the crazy memories of my past. Hiccup has long since disappeared around the corner of the village toward his home, and I shuffled my feet down the hill, the grass not even swaying as they were hit.

The Great Hall still bustled with yells and bumps of its owners. How I wished I could be in there, with anyone, jumping and screaming with joy as we all lost our sanity. I wonder, what's it been like? I guess I had been gone longer than I thought, not being able to remember how I felt when I did those kinds of enjoyment.

"Why can't..." I stammered, my eyes pained as I stared at the moon, it's shining comfort no longer of any to me, more of a source of who I could blame. "you just take pity on me?"

I had to sigh one more time before fading into the enclosure of the shadows, them wrapping around me in a soft comfort to stop my unbearable agony.

* * *

         Now that I think about it, nothing changed from before the curse to when I had it. I was exactly like a small sheep, the runt of a liter. I was ignored anywhere I went, people not even bothering to move when they reached me. They would push me down like a object in their path, with no sympathy whatsoever.

"Hey!" I would yell out in my quiet, but slightly furious voice. But nothing worked. They would just gruffaw and move along, sometimes flicking a rock backwards to try to hit me.

Maybe that's why I'm so connected with Hiccup...even though he can't hear or see me.

"Yea ur tthoathly th bessht!" A slurred voice broke the quiet resolve, and I glared from my shadowy corner as Tuffnut crawled on the dirty ground, giggling like a mad man. Blotchy patches of mud covered his face and body, and his eyes spun as he finally scrambled to his feet.

Adding to my assumption of Viking manners. Number twenty-four, can't help getting themselves insane and possibly killed by drinking.

And my exasperation only greatened when the other teens moved this way, not even bothering to help their comrade stay on his feet. In fact, Snotlout laughed at his friend and his misfortune. I so wanted to punch his smug, fat face.

And apparently Astrid wanted to as well, since Snotlout found himself face planted on the floor not a moment later.

"Idiots..." I heard her mutter as she jogged away, snatching the axe by her home's doorframe before she slammed the door as she tore inside. I grinned; she felt and acted the way I did. Like when I was alive...

"Heayy gouyys! I'm gonnaee stthannd in the corrnheer." I froze, my breath hitching as Tuffnut said those words, then stared his madly unfocused eyes in my corner direction.

Oh, **hel no**.

I backed all the way to the inside, the darkness keeping me from escape as my least favorite viking of anyone stalked my like his prey, even though it was highly unlikely he could catch me anyway. I was invisible to him.

I sighed.

When he finally reached my space the others were full blown shouting in agreement, desperately trying to hold down their chortles. I could barely contain my scream as he pressed forward, not noticing as he phased directly through my white body, and I watched in horror as all I could witness was half of him inside, and half of him out.

My eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, and I gasped as he remained still, smiling like a mad man for the whole while.

**Get OUT!**

I flung my arms forward hard, but it was futile as they still passed through, pressing away from Tuffnut as he laughed again giggly once more. He didn't know how much this made me hurt. No physically, of course, but mentally.

I sniffled to stop the tears from falling down my cheeks. "Move away." I pitifully muttered, pressing my phasing hands once again through the teen. "M-Move..." I cried, but what came next stopped me. Tuffnut seemed to perk, lifting his head and staring. My eyes flickered as he looked, open-mouthed as his eyes cleared for an instant.

And he flew back, tripping over his feet and onto the ground.

He mouthed ' _what_ ' as Ruffnut jumped to his aid, grabbing her twin's arm as his sober mind faded, bringing Tuffnut back to his drunken state. He laughed as he wrapped an arm around the girl, bringing her close as he kissed her cheek. "Commeer onnnh myyl llladddyy!" He called out, unafraid, causing Ruffnut's face to go red and the others to burst into another fit of uncontrollable laughter.

I was still in shock to do anything. Had he heard? But that's impossible! The tears had stopped abruptly a while ago, but I could still only stare as the teens strolled away, Ruffnut bopping his brother on the head as he almost moved in the opposite direction of their house.

Snotlout was still snorting when he came upon his house of 'all glory', but shut up when his dad stepped out, still sober enough to glare disapprovingly at his son's behavior. Fishlegs went last, stopping by a smaller house than all the others. I watched him stare at it for a minute before letting the door make its signature creak as it welcomed him home.

"Bye." I waved my pale hand outward, but no one was left to notice and reply with the same gesture. Not that they would know. For all they knew, I was the wind blowing throw the air, with no life.

I guess you could say I don't have a life anymore.

I strolled again down the grayish road, my body illuminating around me as I tried to hide it. Another part of the curse. I hummed, whistling a soft tune as the moonlight whisked away the shadows that had held me. No viking to bother me now. I was free to roam without the feeling of despair when another was there to not see me.

_No scorching sun, nor freezing cold_

_Will stop me on my journey_

I sang the tune softly, my mind journeying back to the times where I watched the Chief sing to his beloved, while I let tears of joy fall as I watched from the background. It was the only time where I wasn't in pain or upset, since at the time those were my favorite living people.

_If you will promise me your heart._

_And love me for eternity._

The note faded out, and I started to sing the next line when the recognizable sound of the war grin broke out, wailing across the sky as another sound even more familiar sound streaked through right after.

A dragon's roar.

I ducked idiotically as fire lit up the night sky, then watched as a beautiful Monstrous Nightmare flew overhead, it's red scales flashing in the fire it had made on a nearby house. More dragons soon followed it's lead, releasing bursts of flame all around me.

Then the chaos began.

My heat beat in my chest as Vikings raced from their homes, their weapons huge and threatening as the clashed against the dragons bodies. My body instinctively moved along, and I raced by a burly man fighting a Gronckle, wincing as his axe came down, slicing the dragon's wing clear off.

I'm glad the substance inside the beast was able to slip through me without latching on.

I searched through the mess, eyes darting every way as I desperately searched for the one I wanted. And I smiled when the task was complete. Hiccup, racing not-to-far away, charging with surprising speed through the yelling men, who's voices rang in my ears as I kept my eyes locked on my only friend who could not know I existed, following him into the Blacksmith's Shop.

Sorry, Gobber the Belch, but I personally hated your shop since the day it was created. I mean, it's a weaponry. You can make weapons anywhere!

"Ah, nice of you to join the party!" I heard Gobber yell as he pounded a hand on Hiccup's back, causing me to wince when I saw the flash of pain that was in an instantly locked under his mask of emotions.

"Thought you might have been carried off!" Ah, don't go there, viking. Or I may just have to phase through you and make you feel no pain whatsoever. I kept my mouth sealed tight and carefully watched the situation.

Hiccup let out his signature smirk, putting on fake confidence to impress his foster-father. I sighed...again. "Don't do that, Hic." I told him, staring from afar. "You're not one of them."

"Who, me? Nah, come on. I'm waaaay too muscular for their taste. They wouldn't know what to do with all..." Hiccup gestured his hands over his body, his face forming a light blush as Gobber stared, amused. I could feel my face heating as well. "this."

"They need toothpicks, don't they?" I couldn't resist a small giggle. The one moment I'm so glad people can't notice me.

The screech of a nearby Deadly Nadder brought my attention to the window, where multiple other vikings, some still I assume were heavily drunk by the way they were all waving their hands like it was a wonderful party.

Yeah. **_Everyone's_** having a blast.

Hiccup's mad dash caught my eye once more, and I took a step back as Gobber hooked him on his vest, pulling the distraught boy back inside the forge. Hey, you all know the saying; if at first you don't escape, try, try, and never stop until you do.

"Ah, come on," Hiccup whined like a five year old, failing as he tried to unhook himself from the trap. "Let me out! I need to make my mark!"

"You've made plenty of marks," I paused, staring, surprised that I had said the exact thing as the older viking. It kinda disturbed me. He continued like nothing had happened, well, nothing did happen in his view. "In all the wrong places!" He finished suddenly.

Hoccup had his mind already planning by the next time he spoke. "Please, two minutes! I'll kill a dragon, my life will get infinitely better..." I watched him pause, and I knew he was carefully selecting what to say next. "I might even get a date!" I laughed, gripping my stomach like mad, but it could never hide the way my cheeks lit up just a tiny bit darker in comparison to my normally pale skin.

I turned away from the scene, staring out the wooden window towards the line of vikings who were waiting patiently for their weapons. I wonder how they could wait that easily. Maybe it was because of killing dragons?

I stopped my thoughts when I gasped, a bola flying straight through the middle of my head, making a sharp snap and wrapping itself around the man in front of me. He went down quicker than I expected, groaning as he writhed on the dirt. I winced; even if he lived like an insane person, no one deserved to be hurt like this.

"See, now this right here is what I'm talkin' about!" Gobber's voice rang out, and I spun to find Hiccup with his eyes locked onto the ground, smiling sheepishly. I could openly sense his discomfort, and I flinched as I felt a pang of pity.

"It, it..." He stuttered, following after his mentor. "mild calibration issue, I..." I so desperately wanted to comfort him, but I knew I could only stand by and observe as Gobber's stare paralyzed him in mid-step.

"Don't you..." Gobber's paused, scrunching his brows as he held a hand up to pinch them back down. "no, Hiccup! If you ever want to get out there to fight dragons, you need to stop all... this." He pointed to Hiccup alone, and I let out an inverted huff as my only friend scowled.

"But you just pointed to all of me!"

"Yes, he did. And that's a really rude thing to do, Gobber!" I snapped out, but of course they both continued their own conversation without even looking my way. I felt the slash of pain once more.

"Yes! That's it! Stop being all of you!" Well, I never said Vikings were the kindest, or knew how to act nice in any way.

"Oh..." Hiccup bean, waving a threatening finger towards the older man, who still just stared at him dully. "Oh, yeah!" He answered back.

"You, sir, are playing a dangerous game! Keeping this much raw... viking-ness... contained!" I ignored the hurt inside the body and stared just like Gobber now at Hiccup, who was still only glaring at the viking. "There'll be consequences!"

"I'll take my chances." And there we go again with me saying the same thing as another person.

"Sword." He grasped a badly damaged and dull sword by the entrance. "Sharpened. Now." Hiccup grunted and heaved the sword to the wheel, sparks shooting off and onto the floor. I smiled at the scene before walking to him, reaching my hands to the sword.

Every moment my hands would slip past and I would have to move them again to the right position, but I wasn't upset nonetheless. In all my sorrow, Hiccup was the only one who kept me alive from dying inside. He was like my charge.

"Hiccup, I'm going out. Man the fort," I turned to find Gobber's face twist to insane as he let out a viking yell and charged out, waving his hammer hand like crazy. Hiccup had that weird look on his face, and I gasped when it finally clicked in my mind as he took a small, contraption on wheels and raced out the door as well, earning a few surprised grunts form the vikings by the window.

"Be right back." I told the ignoring people as I whisked myself through the wall, not caring who I passed into as I tracked the small boy. Man, for a scrawny boy he was really hard to find!

My glow brightened as the flames were lost behind me, but Hiccup still went on, pushing the catapult...I think? Onward to the edge of the cliff. I wandered around, sliding my feet the other way whenever I reached a side. "What did you come here, Hic?" I whispered quietly, making sure to go unnoticed, though I then wondered why.

"Come on..." I heard the boy mutter as he whipped the catapult into place. He slowly moved it all over the night sky, and my eye's widened when I saw the Night Fury appear and disappear in a moment hard for even me to see. "Come on, give me something to shoot at!"

Wait, he's is not doing what I think he is doing. Please.

I could only bear the slightest when the shot was finally released, and it only worsened when I hear a snap and a screech, indicating  that the fire had been successful. Yet I couldn't help feeling proud.

"Oh, I hit it." I nodded solemnly as Hiccup stared, open-mouthed to the sky. I clapped, cheering for him as a bright grin opened on his mouth. "Yes, I hit it!" Her cheered, raising my hope as I giggled as his great fortune. "Did anybody see that?!

I froze at the same time as my friend when the Monstrous Nightmare climbed over to us, it's eyes flashing mad as it rumbled a deep growl from it's throat. "Except for you." Hiccup obviously stated.

Well, I guess I should tell you my name now, before my friend dies and all.

My name...Anette Ragadottir. And I'm a girl that's stuck between life and death.


End file.
